To Defeat the Devil
by RedKingofCake
Summary: Nine countries, one teddy bear, one noble quest... Join Switzerland, Austria, Japan, America, Britain, France, Canada, Germany, and Italy on their epic/stupid journey to hell to defeat the devil, and save Liechtenstein...
1. Chapter 1 Ordinary Day?

_(The start of something rather strange, a fanifc that I haven't dug out of the depths of my computer for a while. Now I shall expose its strangeness to the world. Made in colab with a friend of mine over the course of a few weeks... ENJOY!) _

Switzerland woke to yet another blue sky, with puffy white clouds strewn in it, and the sun glinting off the blue lake and green hills.

It was so blissful it almost made him sick.

Switzerland got out of bed, put on his uniform, and went out into the kitchen to make breakfast before Lichtenstein woke.

Once breakfast was done, Switzerland called down the hall, "Sister, it's breakfast time. Get up or it'll get cold."

The only response was silence from the hall.

"Come on Lichtenstein, time to get up."

Still nothing.

With an exasperated sigh, Switzerland walked down the hall and knocked on his sister's door.

"Come on sis, it's breakfast time," he opened the door and peered inside, "I'm not going to call again-" He stopped suddenly, his eyes wide with fear.

The room was empty, the window was broken, and a note lay on the bed.

He ran to the bed and snatched up the note, read it quickly, "Oh no..." Switzerland ran to the phone, "Boss? Yes, it's me. Call my allies together, there's an emergency!"

_(Are you in suspense yet? I sure am! Predictable plot alert...) _


	2. Chapter 2 A Noble Quest?

America, Austria, Britain, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, and Japan, were gathered in the world conference room.

They had all been called on important business, for what, no one knew.

"Dude, I'm tired of all this waiting," said America as he scarffed down a hamburger, "if the Swiss are the best clockmakers then why is he late?"

Britain sighed, "Would it kill you to wait without eating?"

"Knowing that slob, no doubt oui?" said France while he sparkled randomly.

"I wasn't talking to you Frog!" shouted Britain.

Italy leaned up against Germany's arm, "Why are they fighting Germany? When we could all just play football instead?"

Germany did not respond and just read his book.

"Germany?" said Italy, "Can we play football, play football Germany? Play foot ball..."

Germany was trying his best now not to explode with anger that very second.

Canada tried to break up the ongoing fight between America, Britain, and France, but no one listens to that guy...

Japan just sat quietly and unmoving (as only the Japanese can do.)

When Austria finally snapped.

"Would everyone just shut up!" The chaos momentarily stopped, "Thank you..." said an exasperated Austria.

Just then Switzerland burst into the room, carrying a large trunk.

"Sorry I'm late," he was panting, "just had to make necessary preparations."

"Finally!" said America, "Now will someone tell me what the heck it going on?"

Everyone took their seats and Switzerland cleared his throat.

"My sister, Lichtenstein, has been abducted."

Murmurs of surprise went through the room.

"Dose anyone know who did it?" Austria demanded.

"I have no clue," said Switzerland, "the only thing I found was this note." He began to read...

"To Switzerland, I have Lichtenstein, her soul will be mine. If you want her back, take haste to my underground kingdom, and face my challenge of ultimate strength."

The room was silent for a moment.

"That sounds really scary..." said Italy, clinging to Germany's arm.

"Vhoever vrote that seems like he's staging it." said Germany.

"Or he's crazy," said Japan, "who in the world lives in an 'underground kingdom'?"

America had gone back to eating his hamburgers, "I..." he said, "have no clue whatsoever about any of that."

Canada and Mr. Kumajiro shook with fear, "Wha-what does the whole, her soul will be mine thing mean?"

France sighed, "Britain, what's wrong with you? It looks as if moi as seen a ghost..."

Britain took a deep breath, "Friends, I believe I have the answer. I know who took your sister Switzerland, and I know what we must do to get her back..."

The room was tense as Britain paused dramatically and then quietly finished, "The one with the underground kingdom is the Devil, and your sister has been taken to hell..."

Everyone was in shocked silence for a moment, but all seemed to agree with the fact that what Britain said was true, for once.

"Then it is settled!" Switzerland slammed his hands on the table. "I'm going to challenge the Devil to get my sister back! Whoever wants to help, is welcome to join me. If not, I'll go alone..."

The room was silent, and then Austria stood. "I'll go to, I can't leave my best friend alone."

"I'll come," said France.

"Me too." said Britain.

"And me! Totally! I have to be the hero you know." said America.

"I don't know," said Italy, "I'm terrified of the whole idea-"

"And ve'll come as vell." said Germany.

"We will?" said Italy.

"Yes, said Germany."

Japan sighed, "I guess I have to come as well."

"And then I guess we will to!" said Canada, but no one could hear him.

"This indeed is a noble quest," said Britain.

"A quest for true love?" said France.

"No!" everyone shouted at him.

Switzerland kicked open the trunk on the floor and a load of strange weapon like objects tumbled out.

"Then suit up! We'll leave immediately! And Britain! Find us the nearest entrance to hell!"

_(More will come to be sure, now... I know it's really really corny but that's kinda what I was going for. So in my view, I nailed this! I hope you people at least appreciate all the humor we put into this...) _


	3. Chapter 3 Are you ready?

Once everyone was ready, they made for the nearest entrance point. And, with Britain's directions, they made their way to an abandoned parking lot in Los Angeles.

"What the heck!" said America, "Why is an entrance to the underworld in my country?"

"Oh, there is really many points all over the world, this was just the closest." said Britain.

"Still, this is really disturbing..." said America.

"Is everyone ready?" asked Switzerland. They all nodded, gripping their weapons of choice.

Germany had a machine gun, America a pistol, Japan had his fancy sword, Britain a magic wand, Italy had a white flag, Austria a conducting stick (or whatever those things are really called...), Canada his teddy bear, Switzerland his trusty shotgun, and France had a brief case.

"Um, France," Germany asked, "Vhat exactly is the suit case for?"

"It's my secret weapon." said France.

"What's inside?" asked Italy.

"Well, if I told you then it wouldn't be a secret any more!" France huffed.

"Alright, let's hurry up! Or we'll miss our chance!" Britain said, holding his magic wand above his head.

America began to chuckle.

"May I inquire what's so funny!" said Britain irritated.

"It's just the wand dude," America laughed, "you look like a fairy princess!" he burst out laughing.

"Do not!" Britain retorted, "This is a first class weapon in demonic protection!"

Japan gave a sigh.

"Get a move on or I'll leave you here to die!" Switzerland yelled at them.

_(To hell then? -) _


	4. Chapter 4 When Teddies Attack?

_(Warning: Those of you who are afraid of stuffed toys, DO NOT read this chapter or you will have nightmares...) _

They wandered into an abandoned toy factory, dilapidated teddy bears, jack in the boxes, and other various toys, were strewn on the floor (but mostly bears).

"Are you sure this is the place?" asked Austria, "It's kind of..."

"Creepy?" America whimpered.

"I was going to say unfitting."

Canada was shielding Mr. Kumajiro's eyes from the carnage of his brethren.

"It'll all be over soon," he whispered to himself, "It'll all be over soon, it'll all be over soon-"

Then a teddy bear head on the floor rolled over to Canada's foot and gave a moan.

"Turn... back..." it said.

Canada gave a scream and jumped into America's arms.

"Dude, calm down, what's up?" said America.

Then more toys began to moan, "Turn...back...or be destroyed..."

Then both America and Canada gave girly screams as the demon toys began to surround them.

"We're goanna die!" shouted Mr. Kumajiro.

Then Switzerland blew the head off a jack in the box with his shotgun, Britain jumped in and brushed them away from America and Canada.

"Run you gits!" he shouted.

"Everyone group up!" Japan yelled.

Soon everyone was trapped in the center of the room, the evil teddy bears closing in. Most of our friends were fighting them off, and France was sitting with Canada, both of them crying their eyes out.

Japan's sword flashed through the dark masses, the thin silver blade cutting them into pieces with an expert move!

"There's just no end to them!" shouted Germany, his machine gun cutting through them like a knife through butter.

"Germany!" Italy shouted as a bunch of pink bears were dragging him away, "They got me! Help meeeee!"

"No! Italy!" Germany shouted.

He tried to make his way toward Italy but was slowed by the masses. And Italy was dragged under the surface of the wave of demon creatures.

"Nooooooo!" Germany shouted, straining with all his might against the mass of teddy bears. He let out a cry of rage and flung them about, then began to dig through the bears, desperately reaching for Italy!

(While that very intense moment was going on...)

"Everyone band together!" shouted Switzerland, "We can fight them!"

"Imposable!" said France.

"Stand back!" Britain said as he held the magic wand high and said something strange and unintelligible.

Suddenly, the chaos stopped for a moment, as something rained from the ceiling onto the demon bears.

"What the-?" said America, "Those are scones!"

Yes, every time a scone landed, the bears either burst into smoke, or ran for cover. Soon, all the bears were gone.

"That was... interesting?" said Austria.

Britain blew the smoke from the top of the wand, "See? First class..."

"Hey! Even demons hate Britain's cooking!" said America.

Germany sat on the concrete floor, trying not to sob because he was way to manly, Italy's broken white flag in his hands.

"I... I couldn't get to him... Now he's... dead..."

Britain was to only one brave enough to walk over to him,

"He's not dead old chap, those creatures were the Devil's servants. I'm sure we'll find him where we're going..."

Germany stood, "You're right, he... vill... pay!"

"Look!" shouted Switzerland.

"What in the world is that?" said Japan.

In front of them was a door of black marble; an icy cold mist swirled around it.

"The gates of hell..." Britain murmured.

"Through those gates is the ultimate evil..." France said.

"Vhere ve'll find Italy..." said Germany.

"And my little sister..." said Switzerland.

_(I really should be getting to hell, but I like to drag out drama and other stuff like that, so it's going to be a bit. I know France really isn't that much of a wuss, but I didn't know much about Hetalia when I wrote this, so whatever, he's just scared of bears! Will Italy ever be found again? Stay tuned!) _


	5. Chapter 5 Now, how do we get in?

After much drama about who should go first (Switzerland and Germany both blew a fuse on that one.), our heroes finally made their way down a long dark tunnel.

The tunnel was made of the same black rock as the doors, and the air inside was cold. There was no light except for Switzerland's lantern, and the glow of Britain's magic wand.

America was clinging onto Japan's arm, "Dude, this place is worse than creepy..."

"Well, at least it's not totally dark, things could be worse." said Japan.

"Don't say that," said America, "In the movies when someone says that things can't get any worse they will!"

Britain sighed, "Not everything you see in those stupid movies is real, America. There's not a chance that the lantern will go-"

_Foof! _

A cold wind rushed through the tunnel and the lantern went dark.

There was a moment of silence; all that could be heard was the moan of distant voices.

"The spirits of the dead are coming for us!" America cried.

"We must keep moving." Austria urged.

What seemed like hours of quiet walking went on. The tunnel grew to become more dark, ominous, and cold as they went. The only light now came from the girly wand that Britain was holding.

The moans of the chill wind almost sounded like voices, whispering their warnings to them...

Soon another sound could be heard, the drip, drip, drip; of something wet hitting the cracked stone floor.

Britain stood at the front of the group with Switzerland and Japan, his wand lighting the way.

France, America, Canada, and Austria had the middle, while Germany took up the rear; his ears straining for Italy's voice.

Then they stopped, for there was a fork in the tunnel.

France was hanging onto his brief case, listening to Britain and America argue about which way to go, when something large, gooey, and wet fell from the ceiling and hit his shoulder. He froze as the cold slime made it's way down toward his neck.

"AHHHHHHH!" France screamed, dropping the case and leaping onto Britain's back. "It's in my shirt! It's in my shirt! It's in my shirt!"

"What the devil is wrong with you!" Britain yelled. Britain took a step back to prevent France from toppling him over, but as he did, there was a "click"...

And trap doors in the floor opened.

Everyone hung there for a moment; then all fell screaming through the sky to the ground below...

_(Yay! France freaking out = Plot advancement!) _


	6. Chapter 6 Any Ideas?

After a long time of falling and screaming, they each landed in the vast terrain of fine black sand.

Switzerland got up out of the pit that his impact had made; he shook sand out of his hair and his sleeves.

"Is everyone all right?" he called out to the empty land.

One by one, his allies crawled up from the dunes and, while bit disoriented, stood.

America spat the charcoal colored sand from his mouth, "That was the scariest thing ever!"

"At least there was something soft to break our fall." Britain sighed, stretching his back.

"Is this... hell?" Germany asked.

The whole expanse of land was nothing but the dunes of black sand, creating what was like a sea that stretched on around them for miles.

In this sea of sand were ruins, old war machines, blown apart forts, burnt buildings, twisted wind blown trees, and chunks of black rock.

The sky was a blood red, with darker red clouds streaked across it. There was no moon, no sun, but a glowing sphere set in a permeate eclipse casting its harsh glow upon the sky. The whole place was as hot as any other desert.

"Great," said Britain, "Now where do we go?"

"I thought you were the expert on this." Austria huffed.

"Found my briefcase!" shouted France.

"Well, this must be hell." said Switzerland, "My sister is here with the devil. So in order to find her we must find him! Now, any ideas were he could be?"

No one said anything.

Then Japan spoke up, "Well, could he live in that big crumbling castle out that away?"

Everyone looked to where Japan was pointing and saw a ruined castle in the distance.

"HOW DID WE NOT SEE THAT!" Everyone shouted.

"Well at least we know where to go now..." Austria murmured.

"But how do we get there? It would take days to cross the desert on foot." Germany pointed out.

Canada looked to his right and saw some old World War 1 planes. "Hey, why don't we use those, they look like they still work."

No one responded to him.

Then America said, "Hey! How about those old planes! They look like they'll still work!"

"That's what I just said..." Canada whispered.

"Sorry Canada." said Austria.

"You know I exist!" he said with excitement.

"No I don't..." Austria denied.

_(No idea why Austria knows Canada exists, maybe it's because he has glasses? No, wait, scratch that theory... Aw whatever, more stuff to get on to...) _


	7. Chapter 7 A Test?

America, Switzerland, and Germany set to work fixing the five planes. Once they were sure all of them worked, everyone got in.

Germany and Switzerland had there own planes (the smallest ones of the five), the rest were in pairs. Britain and France, Japan and Austria, and America and Canada (though he wasn't noticed.)

"Why do I have to fly with France?" Britain complained, "He'll bug me the whole time I'm trying to fly this piece of garbage!"

"I didn't ask to be paired up with you either!" France retorted, "But I have no idea how to fly a plane and feel safest with you!"

There was an awkward silence...

"Um, well then..." said Britain.

"If you are through, lets be on our way!" Switzerland said.

They got the planes up in the air, and soon were cruising low over the infinite black dunes toward the castle.

"_Lets get some altitude_!" said America over the radio.

"Roger that." said Britain.

France leaned forward in his seat, "What in the world?" he exclaimed.

"What now France?" asked Britain.

"There's something up ahead, lots of little black things coming toward us!"

Britain looked over at the horizon, "I don't see any- Bloody hell!" "_Guys!" _he shouted over the radio, _"There's some flying fiends coming our way! Please tell me that these rust buckets have guns!"_

"Here they come!" shouted Switzerland, "Everyone scatter!"

The planes spun, dove, or turned hard to avoid the mass of flying creatures.

They had shiny black skin stretched over their bony monkey like bodies. With glowing red eyes, horns crowning their brows, long claws, jutting teeth, tails made of bones, and ragged half feathered wings; even Germany was unnerved.

Small groups of them swarmed the planes.

"Take this!" America shouted as he pulled the trigger, the creatures scattered and America pulled the plane away, but the monsters recovered and gave chase.

"Oh no you don't! You're not goanna catch me!" he said. Canada clung tight to Kumajiro as they shot straight up and climbed, the monsters still followed.

Then, quicker than a blink, America turned the plane around toward their pursuers.

"EAT LEAD! WOOHOO!" America shouted as the guns ripped through the mass of black monsters.

"AAAAAHHHH!" Canada yelled.

"Yes!" America shouted, "I'm the hero-"

SLAM! A monster crashed into the wing, making the plane lurch down hard and spin.

Canada closed his eyes and clung tight to Kumajiro until the spinning stopped. When he opened his eyes the plane was plummeting into a nosedive toward the dunes! America was slumped in the seat, unconscious.

"America! The plane! We're going to crash!" Canada shook his shoulder but America wouldn't wake up!

"Wake up please!"

The plane was racing closer to the ground with frightening speed.

Then Canada took a deep breath, unbuckled his seat belt, stuffed Kumajiro in the seat, leaned into the front of the cockpit and grabbed the control stick and yanked it up hard!

The plane rushed back upward.

By the time Canada managed to level it out America woke up.

"Huh? What... happened?"

"I did something useful!" Canada said.

"You did? Hey cool! All the monsters are gone!" said America.

"Why won't you notice me..." Canada groaned.

Germany closed in on a group of creatures chasing Japan and Austria, "This is for taking Italy you $%#^&*!" he shouted as the bullets tore through the air.

Japan gave Germany a thumbs up and flew toward the castle.

"You're not going to best a former pirate!" Britain shouted as a mass of creatures was closing in on them.

"Were goanna die!" France shouted, "Hold me!" he flung his arms around Britain's neck the minuet Britain did a loop.

The plane spun out of control and flung it self into a barrel roll.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" they screamed.

By some miracle Britain managed to level out the plane.

"You idiot!" he shoved France back into his seat, "Don't hug me while I'm driving! You almost go us killed!"

"Your driving is what's going to kill us!" France shot back.

"At least we lost them," said Britain, "Now where- AUGH!"

Suddenly a monster dove for the front of the plane, it's razor claws outstretched. Just as suddenly a bullet knocked the thing out of the sky.

"_Stop fooling around and get to the castle!_" Switzerland said over the radio.

Britain turned the plane toward the ruined castle.

"Anything on our tail Austria?" Japan asked. Austria twisted around to look behind them.

"Nothing," he stated, "They don't seem to move past that ruined cathedral."

Japan thought for a moment, and then turned on the radio.

"Everyone," he said, "The creatures will not pass the sunken cathedral! What we all need to do is move past it. I think this is a test."

"_A test?" _Japan heard Switzerland's voice, "_Why?" _

"I think the Devil is testing us," Japan said, "So only the strongest will face him."

"Brilliant..." Austria murmured.

"Who's past it?" Japan asked into the radio.

"_America's way ahead of you!"_

"_We've just past it" _said Britain.

_"Heading for the line" _Switzerland said.

"Almost...there..." Germany was straining the plane as a huge mass of creatures was closing in on him. He could see the cathedral just ahead.

Germany felt a rush of hope fill his chest; he was just one hundred feet away at least!

"I must defeat the Devil. So I can find... ITALY!"

Germany's hopes were suddenly dashed when a flying monster did a suicidal dive into the plane's propeller.

The propeller stopped moving, then exploded with a KABOOM!

Germany flung himself from the exploding craft as the flying monsters swarmed around the wreckage, searching for him.

Germany pulled his parachute cord and a flimsy white chute slowed his fall. He looked down to see that he was falling into a forest of thick, and prickly looking, black trees.

"Oh crap..." said Germany as his feet brushed the treetops...

_(Well, that was a suspenseful battle sequence. we're really not that good at those so I hope you guys actually knew what the heck was going on back there. As for the monsters, we have no clue what they are, we just like making creepy things up. I hope all of you were terrified! Bwa ha ha! And the second time that Canada has done something useful with out anyone noticing [just in case someone is counting] Also, a note from me. I haven't really given much credit to my co-author for this. So to my friend who helped write this: I'M REALY SORRY that I didn't include you before! Please don't kill me for it! I know I'm an ass! ) _


	8. Chapter 8 It says what?

"_We lost Germany_." Japan announced over the radio.

"_Noooo!" _said America,_ "He was the only one worthy enough to be my sidekick..." _

"We have to keep going!" Switzerland said, "Let's not let Germany die in vain! We must rescue Italy for him!"

They arrived at the great castle, landing the planes on the rocky ground around it.

It was quite imposing, with large battlements, and great towers, but those were in some disrepair. The only thing without holes was the outer wall, as high as an eight-story building, and perfectly smooth, which meant no handholds for climbing.

America gave a long whistle, "Holy moly..." he said, "This guy's not kidding around when he locks someone out."

"How do we get in?" Switzerland asked Britain.

"Hmmm..." Britain flipped through a book, "It says here that the only way to the devil's throne is to be invited in..."

"Crap!" Switzerland kicked a rock.

"Or," Britain continued, "To speak the password, which is written on the walls."

"That's kinda dumb!" America chuckled.

"Probably a trick of some kind." Japan mused.

"We have to find it!" Switzerland began to pace around the walls.

"Can't we just blow a hole in it?" America asked.  
>"Do you have an anti-tank gun hidden in the enormous ego?" Britain asked.<p>

"This is no time to start a fight." Austria sighed.

"I found something." came Japan's voice from around the corner.

They all found Japan and saw an inscription consisting of strange symbols that looked like dots with tails, all arranged on a grid of lines.

"What does it mean?" America asked.

"No passable idea." Britain said.

"Could it be a language?" asked France.

"Looks more like a code to me," said Japan.

"But what does it mean?" Switzerland was loosing his patience, "This has to be the door password!"

"Wherever the door is..." murmured Canada.

Austria sighed again, "Stand aside." he asked waving his hand. The others went silent and stepped back. Austria took out his wand/stick/thing and made a commanding wave with it.

There was no sound but the whistle of wind... Then Austria's piano suddenly appeared right next to him.

"So that's what that thing does!" America exclaimed.

"I always make sure my piano is handy." Austria said as he sat on the bench.

"So... What's the piano for?" asked France.

"Ugh." Austria banged his head on the keys in disgust, "Those marks are sheet music from Tchaikovsky you nincompoop! Now all of you please be quiet."

Austria looked up briefly at the notes on the wall, then began to play a song so sad, yet full of quiet joy. Everyone stood in solemn silence as Austria played.

When he was done, the wall began to make a grinding sound; a door way ground its way open, leading to a dark hallway.

"That was brilliant!" cried Britain.

"So moving..." France softly sniffled.

"You did it Austria! Now let's go!" Switzerland adjusted his shotgun slung over his back and strode purposefully inside. The rest of them followed, and the door closed behind...

_(I'm SO sorry this took so long for me to post. Please don't kill me... Anyway, I think it's kinda funny that nobody figures that Germany is fully capable of surviving that crash, but oh well. And for once, Austria serves a purpose. I really have no idea what Tchaikovsky's music sounds like, I'm sure I've listened to some but I don't remember, so just deal with it. Anyway, if anyone knows what the little wand thingy is actually called, please tell me. I've been dying to know!) _


	9. Chapter 9 Why is it so predictable

"Someone explain to me why all of the passages are dark and creepy!" said America, clinging to Japan's arm as they walked down the hall in the light of Britain's magic wand thingy.

"Please let go, you're cutting off the circulation in my arm." said Japan.

They continued down the hallway, there was nothing but silence.

They passed through an archway, then suddenly there was a flash of metal as a gigantic blade slashed down from the ceiling!

"DUCK!" shouted Britain.

"WHERE!" shouted France.

Everyone flung themselves flat on the ground. The blade missed their heads by inches, only managing to cut off most of France's hair.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" France wailed, "My lustrous golden locks! Ruined!"

"Oh shut up!" Britain bopped his older brother on the nose, "Maybe I should've let it take your head instead."

"Uh, guys?" America pointed further down the hallway, "Look."

Torches began to light themselves down the hall, reveling a deadly monstrosity of swinging blades, poised crossbows, dart launchers, lasers, tripwires, roving buzz saws, a barrel of angry cats that spit poison, and low hanging lead pipes.

Another archway was on the other side of all the traps, with red lever sticking out of the wall.

"Okay," said Austria, "Who wants to go first?"

"I say America." said Britain.

"What? Are you nuts? What makes you think I want to go in there?" America shouted.

"Well... 'You're the hero' right?" Britain said with an evil smirk.

"You are **evil**!" said America.

"I may have a fairly good chance," Japan stated.

"I don't want anyone risking their lives for this..." said Switzerland.

Canada began to walk toward the archway.

"What we need is someone who's stealthy..." Switzerland continued.

Canada walked through the swinging blades without so much as flinching...

"Quiet!"

Canada's footsteps never triggered the sound alarms for the lasers.

"And completely unnoticed!"

Canada reached the end of the course without a scratch, and then pulled the lever. The whirring, buzzing, and spinning traps of deadly death all came to a grinding halt.

"Hey! They stopped by themselves!" America shouted.

"Why won't you guys appreciate me?" Canada murmured sadly.

"You're right!" said France, waving around his hair that was back to normal.

"How did you're hair grow back in just ten minuets!" Britain shouted.

"Moisturizing conditioner." said France, "Works all the time."

"Let's move on!" said Switzerland.

Austria patted Canada on the shoulder, "Sorry Canada." he said.

"You **do **know I exist!" he said enthusiastically.

"No I don't." said Austria.

_(Third time Canada has saved their lives and no one noticed! Ugh... I hate it how no one will pay attention to him... I have no idea why I didn't put China in this? I just realized that... I guess I didn't really know much about him at the time...) _


	10. Chapter 10 And you are?

Meanwhile in Canada (no, not really Canada...)

Germany was swinging back and forward, his parachute caught in the prickly black trees. He was hanging a good thirty feet above the ground, swinging his legs to try and reach a sharp bit of metal that was lodged in the opposite tree.

"If I can cut myself down, then I can search for the others, and maybe find Italy." Germany said to himself.

A few times he was so close to grabbing the shard, his hand straining for it every time he swung forward.

Germany's hand just brushed the metal bit, and it slid from its place and into his hand, "Ja!"

Then it slipped through his fingers and fell to the forest floor. "No!"

Germany cursed silently to himself, looking around to try and find what he could use to cut himself free.

Then a strange face suddenly peered into his, a red demon like face with overlapping teeth and black ringed, blank, eyes.

"AUGH!" Germany pushed himself back from the creature, his shocked expression quickly changed to puzzlement. "Vhat in the vorld?"

The creature was not very big, probably as high as Germany's waist. It had a thick white fur all over its monkey like body, a puff of a tail, large hands, feet and ears that were had no fur but a pinkish skin instead. Over its face it wore a lacquered mask that was like a demon face.

Germany sighed with relief, "Just a monkey. Hmm?"

He looked around and saw more monkeys with strange masks appear from the thick tangles of branches. Some of them held what looked like short makeshift spears in their hands.

They approached him cautiously, sniffing and making strange warbling sounds.

"Shoo!" Germany swatted at the hand of the one with the red demon mask., "Shoo! Go avay!"

The red masked monkey jumped away, then it and some others began to cut the cords of the parachute tangled in the trees.

"No!" said Germany, "Vait, if you do that I'll-" He heard a cracking sound as the last of the cords snapped, sending Germany tumbling downward.

He hit the ground with a thump; Germany was dazed but otherwise unhurt. He tried to stand up as the monkey creatures surrounded him, but found he was tangled up in the remains of the chute, his arms sung tight against his body.

The monkey creatures picked him up, hoisted him over their heads and began to carry him through the dark trees.

"Being killed by a tribe of demon monkeys..." Germany pondered, "How humiliating..."

Soon they reached a clearing in the forest. There were small huts in the trees, suspended by fraying ropes.

In the center of the clearing there was a throne made of twisted black wood, with small bonfires on either side of it.

Sitting upon the throne was a man with a feathered collar around his neck, a staff with a bird skull atop it, and a black mask of a demon face with a spiked crown.

Germany was set to kneel in front of this monkey king. He took a deep breath as the king's eyes fixed on him.

The forest fell into a deep silence as the king stood and removed his mask...

_(Monkeys? I couldn't come up with anything better than monkeys? Yes, that is the case...For those of you who don't know: Ja = Yes in German.)_


	11. Chapter 11 And the Devil is?

They all approached the enormous wooden doors at the end of the hallway. Once they came to the end of the hall everyone stopped and just stared at the ornately carved door, too afraid to even touch the black metal handle.

Everyone took a deep breath.

"Well," said America, "This is it."

"Beyond this door is the ultimate evil..." Britain murmured.

France held his brief case tighter.

Canada and Mr. Kumajiro were shaking with terror.

Japan stood straighter, with a stern expression.

Switzerland held his shotgun and looked out to the rest of them, "Ready?" he asked.

Austria put a hand on his shoulder, "Ready." he said.

Switzerland turned the handle, and kicked the doors open, his shot gun ready. "Alright you bastard!" he shouted, "Give me back my little- RUSSIA!"

Everyone looked in with shocked looks, "HUH!"

There he was, sitting on a throne in the middle of the spacious room, his elbow propped up and a smirk on his face.

"Wait a second," said Britain, "Why are **you **here Russia?"

Russia just laughed, "I was wondering how long it would take you guys to get here." He stood up with open arms to great his friends, "I wanted to surprise you. So, surprise!"

Everyone but France had a look on their face like they had been slapped with a fish.

"Sooo..." said America when they had come out of their shock, "**You're **the devil?"

"Duh," said France.

"Yep," said Russia, "I killed the old one in his sleep, and so laid claim to his throne of evil da?"

"Why did you kidnap my sister!" Switzerland demanded.

"Because it was the only way to get more of you down here to join me." Russia chuckled creepily, "And she's the cutest little thing, how could I resist!"

Switzerland pointed his gun at Russia's face, "Don't you **dare **talk about her that way..." his voice was seething with anger.

"Now, now, now Switzerland," Russia pushed the gun to one side with a finger, "Remember, to get her back you must defeat me in battle."

"You said we needed to pass a test of strength!" said Britain.

"Which is fighting me!" Russia smiled, "And if you don't... you'll become my slaves and be trapped here forever!"

"What! No way in hell I'd be doing that!" said America.

Russia gave another one of his creepy laughs, "But you are in hell...da?"

_(BIG REVEAL! Dun dun da! I hope everyone enjoyed it!) _


	12. Chapter 12 Our Last Hope?

Thirty minuets later...

Japan was sprawled on the ground, a footprint on his face.

America was lying in a corner with a bucket on his head.

Austria and Canada were hanging by their coats from the black iron chandelier above.

Switzerland was lying on his side, and had an iron pipe tying his hands together.

And Russia was standing in the middle of the room, cracking his knuckles in satisfaction while he had one foot pinning Britain to the ground.

"Alright," Russia sighed, "There's one more isn't there? Come out now or I shall make you?"

France stepped out from behind a random curtain.

"**He's **our last hope!" Britain said, his voice a bit muffled from being pinned against the floor.

"Who?" said America from in the bucket.

"France." said Switzerland.

"Oh crap." America said.

Russia laughed as France approached him; "You want me to put you out of your misery now? Or should I let you try? Either way I win."

France trembled, his hands gripping the handle of the suitcase. "I think it shall be me who is the victor." he said calmly.

"And what makes you think that?" asked Russia.

France took a deep breath "My... (dramatic music!) **Secret weapon!**"

"Oh good lord..." Austria murmured.

France set the case on the ground and clicked open the locks. He put a foot on the top of the case, only allowing it to open just a few inches.

From inside, glowing eyes could be seen, and a voice purred, "_Biiiig brother..._"

Almost immediately Russia jumped in the air and threw himself underneath the throne, desperately scrambling to hide every inch of himself.

"NO! Not her! Please, Please, PLEASE NOT HER!"

"Oh?" France had a smug look on his face, "You don't want me to let her out? I brought her down just so she could be with you..."

"Don't let her out!" came Russia's whimpering voice, "I'll do anything! Just don't let her out..."

"Anything?" France asked, he lifted his foot just a bit and a hiss came from the case.

"Yes, yes! Anything! Just make her go away!" Russia began to cry.

Britain got up from the floor and stretched, "Wow. Who knew he could be such a wimp. Who's in there France."

"Belarus." France replied.

Britain jumped up and backed away, "You know better than to carry around a dangerous weapon like that!"

Under France's orders, Russia got everyone out of their current entanglements. Then he opened a door behind a curtain, reveling little Lichtenstein. And it was then that Switzerland's tough guy face faded away instantly and he ran to hug his sister.

After a long emotional moment Switzerland said, "Come on, let's go." Lichtenstein nodded and clung to her brother's arm as they walked from the room with everyone else.

France left the brief case slightly open, leaving Russia to cower under the chair...

_(And so, they escaped, and it should end here, but it doesn't! We've decreed it's too funny to end here...) _


	13. Chapter 13 NarWhats?

The group walked out of the castle and into the harsh red light. A hot wind blew over the black desert; sputtering dust devils blew in and out of existence.

"Well," said Britain, "Now we have to get back up there if we want to get out." he pointed to the black hole in the red sky that they had fallen out of.

"Alright then," said America, "Lets blow this taco stand- Where did the planes go!"

Yes indeed, the old planes that they had used to escape the flying demons where gone.

"What now?" France wailed, "We'll be trapped down here for the rest of our lives if we don't have them!"

"Let's all stay calm!" Austria urged.

Japan's eyes widened as he scanned the landscape, "Look there!" Coming toward them, seeming to swim through the eerie sky, was a group of...

"Narwhals?" said Britain in astonishment.

A pod of huge flying narwhals came toward them, all bearing tiny riders on their backs.

The narwhals landed in front of them and two men in strange masks and wearing feathered collars jumped off the back of the largest narwhal. The group tensed as the men approached them, some strange monkey creatures in masks jumped off other narwhals and followed their leaders. The men took off their masks and everyone gasped in surprise.

"Germany! Italy! You guys are alive!" shouted America.

"What's up guys?" said Italy with a cheery smile.

"Hope ve didn't miss to much." said Germany.

They filled them in on what had happed, and Italy explained that the demon teddy bears dumped in the black woods, then he found the monkeys, taught them to make pasta, and he was crowned their king. (Who knew monkeys liked pasta right?)

"Glad we're all back together again and all that happy stuff," said Britain, "But we still don't have a way home!"

"No problem!" said Italy, "We have the narwhals!"

They escaped, the end...(or is it?)

_(About the Narwhals? Don't ask. They just happened. So let's drop it. And aren't we glad that everyone is reunited? So a happy ending right? Wait, it looks like there's another chapter somewhere around here... What could this be? You guys find out while we go brainstorm... or eat some marshmallows, BRB!) _


	14. Chapter 14 Back at the Ranch?

Once back in their proper world, everyone gathered in the meeting room a day later to discuses lots of boring stuff.

"I want to go on more cool adventures like yesterday!" America said, "Maybe I should just quit my job and do hero stuff all the time!"

"America, you don't have a job." Britain said.

"I can pretend that I do!"

When they all walked into the meeting room the murmuring stopped and everyone's jaws dropped.

"Why is Russia here!" Switzerland shouted.

"Didn't we leave him in hell?" France asked.

Russia just sat in his chair, smiling and giving a little wave. "I had to come back, I missed you guys." he said, "And Belarus kept bossing me around..." his smile turned into a look of despair.

"So who's the devil now?" asked Germany.

"I gave her the title." said Russia.

"That fits." Britain stated...

((_The actual end... We hope you enjoyed! Please review if you'd like!))_


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